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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:29
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:29
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
What is the fat burning furnace trick?
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I am not young enough to know everything.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
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The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
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\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
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Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
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I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
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Silence is argument carried out by other means.
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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
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Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
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I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
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A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
The truth is more important than the facts.
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To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
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TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
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That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
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Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 11:17
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